REASONS WOMEN CAN DRINK WITH A CLEAR CONSCIENCE

Because I applauded the CDC's bold recommendation last week I've heard some arguments from women about why the CDC's statement was ridiculous. If you have not heard already, the Center for Disease Control made a recommendation that sexually active women who are of child bearing age and not on birth control, abstain from alcohol. There was public outcry. Social media was abuzz and so few seemed to be standing with the CDC. And then there were so many blog posts making fun of the CDC and calling them condescending for their recommendation. The CDC's recommendation targeted women only. It did not include men. And after all that drama, because I am in support groups of parents who are raising children with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS), I got to see that I was not the only incredulous person online who could not believe that people would argue with the CDC's statement. You see, those of us who know what FAS looks like and see the kinds of lives our children are living cannot fathom anyone drinking while pregnant. My daughter's birth mother could have abstained from alcohol. But she did not. My daughter will pay the price for her whole life. 

Here are a representation of some of the best explanations I have seen this past week that definitely justify the use of alcohol by women of childbearing age who are not on birth control. 

Reasons sexually active women who are not on birth control should be able to drink with a clear conscience:

1. Because men do not have to abstain so it is discriminatory to tell women they should!

Mother Nature is such a chauvinist huh? She only gave wombs to women, not men. It’s about biology, and nothing else girls.

2. This one is really just like the first: If my boyfriend/husband/guy-I-picked-up-at-the-bar gets to drink then so do I!

You cannot find a sex partner who is willing to abstain while you stay sober too? Do you really want to have sex with that guy? If you do, then I got nothing else to say except, “Wow.”

3. Because women have to endure so much for their children (or future children), sobriety should not be added to the list of inconveniences.

I actually have to say it again, “Wow.” You know that baby you may or may not be trying to create? It’s going to do a lot of inconvenient things. And the alcohol you are drinking because you have the right? That alcohol is going to make all those things that kid does that might be inconvenient MUCH more inconvenient. A kid born to a mother who drank will need a whole lot more from her than a kid who is born to a mom who abstained. Kids with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) are exhausting.

4. Because it is not right that, even though I may not even be pregnant or become pregnant, the things I want are still put second to a non-existent baby.

So you are on birth control then? Because if you are not then that non-existent baby is not necessarily non-existent anymore is it? Sex creates babies. Drinking alcohol while pregnant creates babies with FAS.

5. Because I know a kid whose mom drank while she was pregnant and he turned out just fine.

Right. It could happen. There are SOME babies born to drinking mothers who do not appear to have alcohol related disabilities. Fraternal twins can even be affected differently while being exposed to the same amount of alcohol in the womb. Do you really want to take a chance? And those babies who do not appear to be affected just might have been even smarter, even more talented, even more “normal” than they already are if only their mother had abstained completely. Look your kid in the eye a few years from now and let him know he might have been even smarter, even more talented than he is now, but you really wanted to have just a drink or two while he was developing.

6. Because some doctors still say a little alcohol is not harmful to an unborn child.

The best reason/excuse yet! You can find a few doctors and articles that will say moderate drinking is not harmful to a baby. You will find far more doctors and articles written that recommend a mother not drink at all. You really want to take a chance? With your kid?

7. Because not drinking is unrealistic. You would have to be a Quaker to avoid alcohol (or unplanned sex). 

Really? I am no Quaker. It really is possible to have fun without alcohol. It really is possible to put your unborn children (even the unplanned ones) ahead of alcohol. Really. 

I reserve the right to add to this list as I'm quite certain I am about to get a few more reasons from women that they should be able to drink with a clear conscience. 

We are not animals. We are people. We get to plan ahead and make complicated decisions about our future and the future of our children. And yes - even the future of our future children. Is alcohol really that important to you? Really?

I do not imagine I will change the opinion of one woman who is drinking and having sex. And I doubt this will boost my blog page. I will most likely lose a few followers. Why then do I feel compelled to write about such a controversial and hot topic? It is because I have to stand up for the things I believe in. If I lose a thousand followers over this post, so be it. I will not be debating the topic any longer. Last week when this topic was being argued on my Facebook Page, one of my readers came to my defense and asked another why she would come to the page of a mother who is raising a child with FAS to argue that alcohol and unprotected sex are not a big deal. It is such a big deal. 

Note: Before I get dozens of comments saying it is not so much WHAT the CDC said as the WAY they said it, I would only respond that it might have been said just a little more eloquently. Perhaps the issue of men and how alcohol damages sperm should have been addressed. But I still stand with the CDC on this one. 

The F in FAS Does Not Stand For Fun

Recently I asked my readers what they wanted to hear about. A handful asked me to write about Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, what it is, and how it affects Sydney and our family.

One drink is too many.

When a woman is pregnant, any alcohol consumption has the potential to hurt her developing baby. Depending on the week, and even the day, of development and the amount of alcohol that the mother consumes, the baby may be harmed in numerous ways and to various degrees. There is a potential for brain damage, as well as physical deformities. I’ve been told the area of the brain most affected by alcohol is the frontal lobe. The frontal lobe controls impulsivity, judgment, language, the ability to plan ahead, and problem solving, among other things.

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) is the only birth defect that is one hundred percent avoidable and completely controlled by a biological mother’s choices. FAS is not curable and the child does not outgrow the damage done. It is a lifelong disability. A child can be diagnosed by facial features and/or behaviors but many doctors will not give a diagnosis without a written statement from the birth mother saying she did consume alcohol during pregnancy. Some, however, will and because so many children with FAS are adopted and so many birthmothers are unavailable or unwilling to help, the doctors who will give a diagnosis without a birthmother’s statement are so appreciated by adoptive parents like myself.

Sydney has physical features that point to FAS. The doctors at Children’s Mercy Hospital (CMH) said Sydney’s eyes, ears, head size, and a few other abnormalities all pointed to FAS. Her extremely high pain threshold, hyperactivity, and other behaviors were indicators as well. Until we began medication for hyperactivity around age seven, Sydney was difficult to keep safe. The medication has been life changing. Sydney still has FAS but taking medication to help with the hyperactivity and her attention span has helped her to be able to learn. She is reading at grade level now! Math is the most difficult subject for Sydney at school. Math falls under problem solving, which is controlled by that frontal lobe.

Many people have asked me how Sydney’s FAS affects us the most. The hardest part for our family has been the impulse control issue. But that may be like saying the hardest part of being blind is not being able to see. Impulse control affects everything. Without impulse control a person does not think before they speak or act. As a matter of fact, if a thought comes into their head, even one that is obviously a very bad one, they may act on it. If someone says, “Don’t touch that stove” then the person with no impulse control is probably going to reach right out and touch that stove. The “don’t” in that instruction does not register but the “touch” and “stove” sure do. Without impulse control a child cannot sit still or focus on anything. Their mind is constantly wandering from one thing to the next. They cannot learn how to solve problems, and sequencing is a mystery to them. They cannot control their behaviors or learn cause and effect, and punishments will not help. It is beyond their control. They absolutely cannot help any of it.

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and anxiety disorders like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) are often comorbid with FAS. Some children with FAS also have Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). Because so many of these disorders have similar symptoms it is hard to know where one begins and the other ends. So many children with FAS are adopted and there are often adoption issues or past abuse or neglect too. Sydney has been diagnosed with FAS, ADHD, and an anxiety disorder.

We are actually very lucky in a lot of ways though. I have become acquainted with other parents in Facebook groups who have children with FAS and I am hearing about horrible behaviors and issues that we have not had to deal with. Things at our house could be so much worse. I hear about kids that hit, kick, spit, curse, lie, steal, threaten, and abuse. We’ve got almost none of that going on. People assume much of it is about environment and Sydney is doing so well because of parenting, but I do not think that is it. Really good parents are dealing with a lot of the kids who struggle so much more in life than Sydney does. FAS is a spectrum disorder and some kids are handicapped in ways others have not been, depending on the amount of alcohol consumed and the time of the consumption. Also, alcohol exposure in the womb affects some babies more than others. I read of a set of fraternal twins who were affected differently by their mother’s drinking. Although both were obviously exposed equally, one twin was much more handicapped in life than the other.

One of the first things I read after Sydney’s diagnosis was that children with FAS do much better in homes with reasonable expectations. I had to learn to parent Sydney much differently than I have parented my other children. In the beginning, before I understood Sydney had a disability, I made demands of her that were unrealistic. Once I understood that she was doing the best that she could do, our lives became so much better. Sydney’s doctor has told me that a good rule of thumb for kids with FAS is to divide their age in half and treat them correspondingly. Of course, they are not all the same and some of these children are functioning at a level that is equal to their peers in many aspects. On the medication for the ADHD symptoms Sydney almost appears as mature as her typically developing peers at times.

I have noticed a few of the parents I have met online seem to be setting expectations for their children that are unrealistic and punishing their children for the lack of impulse control. Holding a child with FAS to the same standard you hold his peer to is unfair and even cruel. No one would consider punishing a deaf person for the inability to hear and a child with FAS should not be punished for the brain damage they cannot help. A child without impulse control may steal and lie on a regular basis. They do not steal because they have a need and they do not lie because they even have a motive to do so. They do it because their frontal lobe is damaged and they are just acting on an impulse. They have no plan. They have no real agenda. They have no ability to think about the consequences of their actions.

Does that mean that we just give up and stop trying to teach our child with FAS? Of course not! We keep trying and sometimes after hundreds of repetitions, we see a new skill mastered or a new lesson learned. But unfortunately, sometimes, even the skills we think are mastered, disappear and we have to start over again because that is the nature of FAS. We take baby steps, set small goals, and celebrate minor victories. Also we do not set our child with FAS up for failure. If a child with FAS loves chocolate and you do not want her to eat more than one chocolate bar then do not leave a package of six chocolate bars on the kitchen counter! If a child with FAS has trouble staying in bed at night then put an alarm on her bedroom door. If a child with FAS hits her baby brother then do not leave them alone in a room together.

There was a time, for a long time, when I was resentful of Sydney’s birth mother. I blamed her and despised her for the life sentence she had given Sydney… and myself. Because truthfully, Sydney’s life long disability will be with me until the day I die as well. I do not really feel that resentment any longer. I only feel pity. I feel pity for a woman who was probably so addicted to alcohol that it controlled her. I feel pity for a woman who was probably in a horrible situation. She had two children already that she was unable to care for adequately and was about to give birth to another that she would be unable to keep. Perhaps she turned to alcohol to ease that pain. I think I probably let go of the anger and resentment toward Sydney’s birth mother about the same time I was finally able to let go of a lot of my unrealistic expectations for Sydney and truly bond with her as if I had given birth to her myself. If you have not already, now would be a good time to read the post I wrote recently called “Falling In Love With Sydney.”

Other posts you might like to read about our life with FAS: Sydney, Age Six and Teaching Sydney.

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Teaching Sydney (or TRYING to)

Impulse control. You probably have not thought much about how important it is to people unless you are close to someone who has very little self-control. The frontal lobe of your brain is the part that helps you stop yourself from doing or saying the inappropriate things that you think about. Believe me, impulse control is extremely important. Without it a person will constantly be in danger. They will break rules and laws. They will lie. They will lose friends as fast as they make them. THEY DO NOT LEARN FROM THEIR MISTAKES.

The frontal lobe of a person’s brain is damaged when they are exposed to alcohol in the womb. Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is 100 percent preventable. A huge percentage of the people in our prisons have FAS. It is no wonder. When you have FAS you barely stand a chance in our society. Sure, many of the children are adopted into homes with good parents. But, mom and dad can keep a child safe for only so long. They do grow up and they still have FAS. They still have no impulse control and they still need constant supervision.

Sydney’s lack of impulse control affects us every day. It shows up in so many ways. Sometimes it is funny but usually it is not. This morning I told her to stay in her room until 9:00 while I showered and dressed. She came into my room at 8:55 and said, “It’s 9:00.” Me, knowing I had five more minutes said, “It is?” She responded, “No, not really.” Then she asked me where her popcorn was from last night. I told her it was in the kitchen. She said, “I just looked.” I said, “So you left your room?” She said, “No I didn’t leave my room but I went into the kitchen to look for the popcorn and it wasn’t there.” She tattles on herself quite often and then talks in circles trying to fix what she uncovered, contradiction in every sentence. Sometimes I think she believes I am an idiot. Sometimes it is hard not to laugh right out loud when i should be scolding her too.

A few days ago she had lifesavers and was trying to open the packaging. She was with her daddy in his truck. He asked what she had and she quickly responded, “Oh, you wouldn’t like these” trying to convince him that she shouldn’t have to share. She forced the package open and dropped the first one in the floor. She said a word that society would not consider a curse word but one our family does not use. Shawn frowned at her and shook his head saying, “We do not say that.” She immediately tried to convince him that he heard wrong and what she REALLY said was “I’m missing out on that one.” He managed to keep a straight face, barely.

Doctors have told me that Sydney will not learn from her mistakes and I have seen that consequences do not really teach her much but I keep trying. A few mornings ago I told Sydney she could go upstairs and play Nintendo in her sister’s room if she did not wake her brothers who were asleep in their rooms close by. She assured me she would be as quiet as a mouse. She went upstairs and two minutes later I heard her singing at the top of her lungs. I told her she could not play Nintendo for a few days. She can tell me WHY she cannot play Nintendo and she can tell me she won’t do something like that again but she will. I know she will.

Sydney loves flip-flops. Flip-flops are almost as important to her as the air she breathes. The winter months when I hide them (yes I have to HIDE them) are torturous to her. A week before school was out we had a cold rainy morning. Sydney was very upset that I wouldn’t let her wear her flip-flops. I insisted she wear socks and shoes and take a sweatshirt. She asked if she could take her flip-flops in her backpack. I told her she could not. She asked why. I explained again that it was a cold day and I wanted her feet to be warm. When I picked her up at the end of the day, she was wearing flip-flops. It didn’t even occur to me she would have snuck them into her backpack. I have watched her do things like this for nine years and it still shocked me that she would openly disobey like that and not anticipate any consequences. I took all her flip-flops and put them up for a week. I believe it was the longest week of her life and she cried about it several times. Will she learn from it? Well, I know she will REMEMBER it but I do not think it would deter her from doing it again.

This past weekend we went to a little rodeo in a small town nearby. There was a fenced-in play area with four of those big bouncy houses and slides next to the arena. Five dollars got you a ticket to come and go all evening. Several times throughout the evening I allowed Sydney to go jump for five or ten minutes. The medication she takes for ADHD had long worn off and sitting in the stands was asking too much of her. (See? I’m a reasonable person.) It was hard to keep track of her among all the kids coming and going out of those houses but I managed. The last trip in, I watched as she ran over to a mom with a toddler. Sydney LOVES babies and I predicted quite accurately what I was about to witness. I was not close enough to intervene before it happened though! The mom was helping the toddler bounce on a corner of one of the play sets. Sydney crowded in between the child and her mother and tried to take over as caregiver. The mother was so surprised she actually turned the toddler over to Sydney for a few seconds before she realized what she’d done and regained custody of her baby. I grabbed Sydney and was too flustered to come up with words. This time I asked her Dad to explain what she had done and why it was inappropriate. He did. She listened but I honestly do not think she understood a single word about why it was not okay to walk up to a stranger and try to take their baby away from them. Sigh.

At the rodeo

Last evening I witnessed her doing a similar thing but it was not with a baby (thank goodness). A friend of ours was over and playing a hand held game when Sydney came over and crowded right it. She began touching the screen and intervening in the game without an invitation. If I had not stopped her she’d have had that video game in her own lap or been in the lap of our guest with her own body between that game and the owner. I can explain and explain but she just cannot help herself. If she sees something she wants, there is no willpower for her to use against those desires. I can only imagine what her teen years and adult life will be like. It is a constant worry for me.

I know Sydney can learn rules and abide by some of them but I’m not sure why some are easier for her to obey than others. We have a pool and she never goes near it unless she is given permission. She is able to behave herself (for the most part) during worship services. She doesn’t hit other people or tantrum. She is polite most of the time. Her ability to abide by some rules and not others has to have something to do with her ability to plan. There is that frontal lobe again. Being able to think ahead to the consequences of your actions based on past mistakes is controlled by that frontal lobe. Impulse control is managed by the frontal lobe. Rules seem so much harder for her to obey when there are other children involved. She can go a long time without getting into any real trouble but add a peer and she is going to find all kinds of ways to make that kid holler. She’s quick at finding ways to push their buttons. She invades their space. She plays much better with children younger than her. A six year old is almost perfect, but only one, not two. Although she is ten, age six is about the level she functions at herself. We are so lucky in that we live out in the country. A neighborhood full of children (and adults) would have brought so many challenges with it and so many dangers. Sydney’s playmates are her family members. Oh, and a dog, several cats, two calves, and a gentle old horse. She spends hours outside with those animals and her dolls. Sydney’s imagination is one of the most active I have ever known. Our dog and one of those calves have an amazing bond with Sydney. They do not care how many times she invades their space or how much she talks or how loudly she talks.

Sydney and Pepper

We almost never say “no” when Sydney wants something to eat. Number one: her preferred foods are healthy. Number two: the doctor tells us to push her to eat because she needs to gain some weight. Sydney still tries to hide food and lie about food. I have told her over and over there is no need because she can eat almost anything she wants, anytime she wants. One of the only rules I have is: no food the bedrooms. I often do find food and wrappers and dishes in her room but I do not impose any consequences for it. These issues surely cannot be from her memories of the orphanage when she was probably hungry, because she has no memories of the orphanage. But food issues could stem from anxieties, according to her doctor. I cannot imagine trying to live without the ability to fully control my impulses. What a confusing place the world would be. Trying to understand the rules and abide by them without the damage to your brain is hard enough sometimes when you are little. This little girl has a disability that was 100% preventable. Alcohol to a brain is poison and exposing an unborn baby to alcohol is unconscionable.

Past articles about Sydney: Saturday Morning with Sydney and Life with Sydney

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What I Say to Future Educators

I am sometimes invited to speak about special education and my two youngest children to a class of college students who are going into the field of education. I got to do that yesterday. I believe this was the fourth time I have done this with this particular college professor. I did a couple similar talks several years ago at a different university and I have given a couple short talks about early intervention at autism conferences. The class yesterday was two hours. I usually get through it without choking up much and what I talk about is sort of becoming “old hat” so it goes smoothly. This time I choked up a little more than I have in the past. I have a harder time talking about the kids’ futures than I do their pasts and there were some questions this time from the students about future plans. I just don’t know what the future will look like for these two precious kids. Tate and Sydney won’t be safe in a world where people take advantage of other people. I don’t anticipate them ever being able to manage money or understand the value of money. They are both very eager to please and trusting of anyone that looks their way. Teaching “stranger danger” is not something that is possible. Job skills and opportunities will be limited for both of them. It is scary and depressing. 

Those thoughts still swirling in my mind, and a rougher-than-usual morning with Sydney today have left me emotionally exhausted. So… my therapy will be to blog.

I do enjoy speaking to the college kids and I feel it is very important to raise awareness. These future teachers need to understand just what they will be facing and I hope I help them understand the difference they can make to a family of a child with special needs. 

I always want to tell the class about early intervention, the huge difference it made for Tate and Sydney, and the cost that came with it. I want the students to understand how vested a parent is in their child and his wellbeing. We parents have often spent all our savings and mortgaged our homes in our efforts to give our special needs kids all the advantages and therapies there are to offer.

Then I tell the students about the first experiences we had with the public schools. I handed my little guy over, kindergarten ready (academically, not socially) to some of the most wonderful general education teachers I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. But then I tell about how disappointed I was in the IEP process. 

I watch their mouths drop open when I tell a story about a time when Tate was six and held his pencil up and said “pow pow.” He was taken to the principal. There was a zero tolerance policy for threats and violence. Because kids with autism do not often pretend, this whole event should have been celebrated as  progress. It would have been celebrated by the autism experts I had surrounded Tate with for his early intervention.  Instead it was blown out of proportion and a little boy who did not have the receptive language to even understand what he had done wrong, was made to feel badly for pretending.

I tell the college class about the time Tate’s IEP contract was broken because a new student who was much more handicapped than Tate, needed his para support worse than he did. He was on his second day without support when I found out about the situation. There was no substitute called for and no plans to hire another para I was told. Tate’s IEP called for “support throughout his day, from drop off to pick up.” When I asked why I wasn’t told he would no longer be receiving the contracted services, the response was, “It never occurred to me that you would want to know.” Yes, the college students’ mouths drop open again. I tell them about the fit I threw in the principal’s office and the phone call I made to the director of the special education program for our district. I tell them about the substitute para that showed up at school a couple of hours after the fit I threw and how she was kept until the end of the school year so Tate did not have to share his para or be without a para again. I tell them how upset a mom can and does get when her child is not safe and not receiving an appropriate education. 

The question was asked yesterday if Tate goes to summer school. I told the college kids the following story and once again saw their disbelief. I asked for an “Extended School Year” (ESY) every year and was told that he did not qualify. Per law, he would have to lose more over the summer than he could regain in the first nine weeks of school. I asked how that was measured. They would need data. I asked for them to take the data. We got the data and it did not prove that Tate lost more than he could regain in nine weeks.  So, he did not receive summer school. Now, here’s the unbelievable part… After four years of being denied summer school by this special educator, a new teacher asked me why Tate had never attended summer school. I scratched my head and explained the “law.” It turns out, that the district policy is that any child can have ESY that is recommended for it by his teacher. Tate has since been going to summer school. He could have made much more progress those first years in public school with a whole team effort.   

I ALWAYS make sure the college class knows the difference one person can make on an IEP team. I talk to them a lot about how important communication is between home and school. I tell them about the amazing team Tate has now. He is happy and doesn’t cry every day before school like he did most of those first four years. I trust Tate’s special education teachers now and we are a true team, openly communicating often and providing each other with lots of information that helps Tate to be successful. ONE TEACHER CAN MAKE A HUGE DIFFERENCE IN THE LIFE OF A CHILD AND IN THE LIVES OF THAT CHILD'S WHOLE FAMILY!!! One teacher can set the tone for whether or not the child will have a successful year or a year of misery. 

Figurative language always comes up in these sessions with the future teachers. I talk about how hard it is for a child with autism to understand idioms, metaphors, clichés, and words that have more than one meaning. I try to explain the concrete mind of a child with autism and the need for simple, clear instructions. I talk about how easy it is for a child with autism to misinterpret instructions. I illustrate the need for sameness by talking about routine and giving examples of how something like having a substitute teacher could ruin Tate’s day. I talk about sameness being so important that Tate has taken the same lunch everyday for five years: a peanut butter sandwich (no jelly), a baggie full of chips, and two cookies. I tell of the day the chips were somehow left out of his lunchbox and the fallout that had to be dealt with. I explain what a melt-down looks like and how it escalates. I talk about how great and wonderful and smart my kid is.  

It is so hard not to make my kids, the kids I adore, sound like burdens when I talk to these classes. I try to remember to talk about the positive characteristics my kids have. However, the purpose of the parent panel is not to make our lives sound rosy, but to talk about what the future teachers will likely see in kids like mine and how to best handle them, from a parent’s perspective. 

I talk more about autism than I do Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) for a few reasons. I know a lot more about autism than I do FAS due to the information available. One in 54 boys are now being diagnosed with autism and the stats are not nearly as high for kids with FAS. So, the college students will probably see and deal with a lot more kids with autism than the do kids with FAS. And, Tate has been with me eleven years and Sydney eight so I have a few more Tate stories than I do Sydney stories. 

Before I began to talk about FAS last night and my precious Sydney, I took a moment to beg the young women in the class, not to ever take a single drink while they are pregnant. Then I explained why.

I always try to describe the hyperactivity and the lack of impulse control but I’m never sure I do it justice. On one hand Sydney is hyper-vigilant and you cannot get anything past her, but on the other hand she cannot stay focused long enough to learn, without her medications. I tell them of the constant “pestering” and the “space invading.” I speak of the never ending talking that Sydney does and her inability to sit still without the help of her medications. I tell them about the lack of friends and then I choke because I know there may never be friends. Who wants a friend that makes you work that hard? Yesterday, as I took a deep breath to recover my composure, the class professor stepped in and told of other children she had seen in classrooms over the years. She likened kids like Sydney to a buzzing fly that the other kids cannot swat away. It always comes back, and when you are eight years old, you do not know how to nicely say, “Get lost, you are bothering me.” It was a great analogy. I love that little fly but her peers do not and will not.   

I explain to the class that I was a mother totally reluctant to medicate my child in the beginning and now I have done a complete turn around. Before the medications, Sydney couldn’t learn. She struggled to learn her colors. She couldn’t do simple one-piece puzzles or a shape sorter. She couldn’t count or learn her letters. The medications slow her down physically, help her to focus, and now she can learn. I say to the class, “Sydney’s medications have changed our lives.”  She is reading at grade level and her comprehension has recently caught up to her peers as well. I have to admit though, there has been no headway made in math. She stays in kindergarten math, never showing any progress, although I am certain her teachers are working diligently to change that. 

As I left the classroom, many of the students thanked me for giving of my time. No thanks was necessary. Any hope at all that I made a difference in how they will treat their future special education students is thanks enough.