Forks Can Be Dangerous and Other Tips From Tate

My fourteen-year-old son Tate was born with autism. In my last post I spoke of the evolution of autism in our home, how I used to feel about autism, and how I have come to terms with it. There was a time when I never would have believed I could easily laugh about our situation, but I do laugh now. A lot. Every single day. I do not necessarily laugh AT my son. I do not really laugh WITH my son either, as he does not usually understand why I find things funny. I laugh because I enjoy my son and I enjoy the funny things he says and does. Kids are funny, autism or not. I began illustrating some of our humorous moments so that others might also be able to smile, understanding that autism is not always doom and gloom.

Trying to see the world through Tate’s eyes is challenging at times, yet somewhat entertaining much of the time too. He has a unique perspective and often a surprising way of looking at things. Tate offers us advice and gives insight often. Here are some examples:

One of the biggest challenges we face, living with autism, is communication. There is miscommunication so much of the time. I can walk away from Tate, believing he understands the information or instructions given to him, when in fact he had no idea what was said. It’s not that he is not trying or does not care, although sometimes that may be the case. I believe he often “gets lost” in all the language and becomes overwhelmed trying to process it, so he tunes us out. And other times I am sure he fully heard but misunderstands. Regardless, we find ourselves in interesting conversations. Sometimes I feel like I’m in the old comedy routine, “Who’s on First.”

We work on communication and conversation skills constantly. Believe it to not, Tate has come a very long way. Tate sees small talk as a waste of time and really does not understand why anyone would want to talk about things he has no interest in himself.  

I received a question on my blog page from a little girl today. She asked me if having a kid with autism is as hard as everyone says. I told her that autism is hard, but it is mostly hard for Tate, not for me. I explained to her some of the challenges he faces now and some of the challenges I believe he will face in the future. But then I told her that being Tate's mom is not hard because I love him so much. He is a fun kid and we have a really good life with lots of laughter. Putting it into words easy enough for a child to understand may oversimplify it just a little but the bottom line is: Regardless of the struggles we face, Tate is my son and he means the world to me. 

If you liked these cartoon illustrations, you might like these posts as well: 

There is no ham in hamburgers.

Hobos, Goosebumps and Wiffle balls

Coffee Tables Aren't Hot

Typewriters and Texts

My fourteen-year-old son Tate has autism. Tate is growing up. There are definitely pros and cons. One of the greatest benefits is that Tate is able to express his opinion and verbalize his wants better than ever before. One of the biggest drawbacks is that Tate is able to express his opinion and verbalize his wants louder than ever before. We have longed to hear his opinion on things for many years but when Tate has an opinion or an interest he is relentless these days. And he knows how to text. Tate’s siblings hear dings and vibrations from their phones several times a week, sometimes several times a day, and some conversations can go on for a long time. There is a new interest in Tate's world this week.  

Tate saw the new Peanuts Movie this past weekend and the Goosebumps movie a couple of weeks before that. There were characters that used a typewriter in both movies. Tate began a dialogue with his older sister about typewriters a few days ago and became convinced he NEEDED one. His sister happened to be the owner of a vintage pink typewriter and loaned it to him. He’s had it in his possession for forty-eight hours and has hammered out note after note, as well as his Christmas wish list. His first love may still be texting but the typewriter has him bewitched right now. He even incorporated the typewriter and notes typed out into a group text with his siblings this evening. Take a look:

The word Tate typed the most in these short videos was "here." Get it? "Here watch me type a word" is what he kept texting them. The campout Tate is referring to in the above text and the following text is one he has planned without any parental consent. He planned one mid-winter last year that never came to fruition and he's held a grudge for ten months as you will see in the text below. Depending on the weather, it may or may not happen again. Tate will not listen to reason at this point and is arguing against the weather factor by assuring us that two hoodies instead of one is the answer to frigid weather. A friend from Texas was over at the time of his list making so he included her.  Somehow he has determined that those without freckles will not be invited into his tent. Your guess is as good as mine on how that criteria factored in. Ironically, Tate does not have freckles. The three siblings he wants to include in his outing do have freckles however. 

Here are some texts Tate sent last week when his camping trip (to the front lawn) was in its earliest planning stages:

Do not feel too sorry for the outdoorsman here. Tate has opportunities over the summer to sleep in a tent. 

Another group text this week from Tate showcased his new dresser. The reason he was asked about naming it is because Tate has named all his siblings' cars and insists they call their cars by name. 

And lastly, Tate has been trying to convince me that he has too many chores around here. 

Nice try Tate. Nice Try.

If you liked this post then you will surely like this one: More Texts From Tate