Sydney's Passion for Cows

Monday I took Sydney to her happy place, the sale barn in Overbrook. We weren’t there to buy or sell. She just loves to be close to the cows and watch them walk across the auction block. She oohs and aahs over every cow that walks in front of us. She comments and exclaims over each one. She keeps looking at me to make sure I am seeing what she is seeing. She wants me to agree with her. They are beautiful. She has favorite breeds and colors but she believes they are all beautiful. I do not know exactly why my little girl finds cattle so enchanting but she is crazy for them. She has been for many years now. She loves all animals but cows are her passion.

The cattle sale does not start until 11:00 usually and Sydney is up at the crack of dawn so she was very anxious to get going Monday. I suggested she pretend she was an auctioneer and try to auction off her plastic toy cows. I played with her for a while and then moved into the kitchen to do some cleaning. I could hear her though. Her toy farmer was bidding on cattle. She asked him if he’d like to buy one of her bulls for $300.00 and the farmer said that was too much. She asked him if he’d buy it for $2000.00 and the farmer said, “Yes, that is much better.” Numbers are just not her thing. Ha.

 

Grandpa's herd

We’ve always had cattle close enough to the house that she can catch sight of them most days. My dad, her grandpa, usually has about thirty or so head, mostly Black Angus or mixed breed cattle. Almost every day grandpa goes into the pasture to check on his cows, usually stopping by to pick Sydney up so she can go along. It is the highlight of Sydney’s day. She will forgo swimming, playing with friends, eating, games, movies, or shopping, all activities she enjoys, if she can go with grandpa for the ride through the pasture. I am so glad my dad takes her. It is a special memory she will always have, long after he is gone. It was my dad that introduced Sydney to cows and to the sale barn experience.

Sydney relates well to all of our animals. As I mentioned in a recent post, they do not get tired of her constant chatter or her pestering as people do. I often think of the famous Temple Grandin and how well she relates to cattle when I see Sydney interacting with the cows, dog, and horse. Although Sydney does not have autism as Temple Grandin does, they do have similarities. Perhaps Sydney will work with animals one day if her interests do not change as she ages.

Sydney with Obadiah

Sydney has two cows of her own right now. They have unique names: Obadiah and Habakkuk. When these calves came into our lives, Sydney was learning the books of the Old Testament so she chose to name the calves after prophets. She has shortened the names over time to Obah or Obie and Backa. Obie is a steer (male but not a bull, for you city folk). We bought him from a nearby dairy farmer. Backa, a heifer (female calf, for you urbanites), came from the cattle auction. Obie is an Ayrshire, a dairy breed and Backa is a Hereford. Obie will need to be sold soon. This breaks my heart for Sydney. Obie and Sydney are in love. Backa likes Sydney just fine, especially if she has grain in her hand. But Obie and Sydney have a special bond. Backa is still penned close to the house, too young to be put in with the bull because she is much too young to breed. Obie was turned out into the big pasture at the beginning of the summer. When Sydney sees Obie up close to the house or when grandpa takes her out into the pasture, Obie lets Sydney hug and kiss him, pet him and pat him. If he is lying down, she climbs on him or lays on him. He tolerates it all. He is big enough now that I worry a little bit about how strong he is and how little Sydney is but he sure would not hurt her on purpose. Can I pet Obie? No. Can my dad pet Obie? No. If we get close he walks or trots right away. Sydney has spent so many hours with that calf from the day we brought him home that he has bonded with her. Sydney knows that Obie will have to be sold one of these days and she knows what happens to steers. Some days she seems okay with it and some days tears well up if it is mentioned. I always remind her that she can get another calf and occasionally that perks her back up. It is tough sometimes, being a farm girl. We see a lot of animals come and go.

A few days ago we got quite a laugh when Sydney became confused about something. Habakkuk is a Hereford. That is the breed. She is also a heifer. That is her gender. Sydney knows this. But, she became confused a few days ago about how we could call Backa both things. She asked Shawn if Backa was a mixed breed, half Herford, half heifer.

Sydney pours over books about cows. It is amazing the number of books I have been able to find her about cattle and the different breeds there are. She memorizes the cattle breeds but like many of the things she learns and knows reliably for a while, she loses the information and has to relearn it. This is due to the brain damage from Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Some breeds she does not forget often though. Those are her favorites. She LOVES longhorn cattle and there is a pasture of those close by that I sometimes take her to see. I can park the van on the gravel road next to the fence and sit there for a very long time before she is ready to go. A Charolais (pronounced Shar Lay) is a breed of white cattle that Sydney really likes. A Brahma is another favorite of hers. It has a very unique look to it. We have seen a very few of those come through the sale barn but we’ve never seen any out in pastures nearby. She likes Herefords, Black Angus, and Holstein cattle a lot. Many of the other breeds she can name without help some days, while other days the names are totally lost for her. Thank you birth mother with a drinking problem (sarcasm intended).

Sydney knows every pasture with cattle in it and what breed or color of cattle the pastures contain between home and all our regular destinations. If a farmer moves a herd of cows or sells some, it does not go unnoticed by my little girl. On our way somewhere this past week she exclaimed, “Hey, there are usually lots of black cows in that pasture. I wonder where they are?” Sure enough, I did not notice until she pointed it out but the cows were missing. Sometimes it is as detailed as, “There is usually one white faced cow in with all those Black Angus. I don’t see it today.” Sometimes she worries about where the cows went, hoping the farmer did not have to sell them. When I go somewhere without Sydney I sometimes find myself listening for her to exclaim, “Aren’t those cows so cute?” from the backseat.

Sydney's herd

Sydney’s preferred toys are not Barbie dolls, but plastic cows and tractors. She has a couple of plastic barns and a livestock trailer. She asked for a grain truck for her birthday. THAT was hard to find. Sydney builds elaborate fences out of Lincoln logs and she “farms” all over the living room. She does play with other things like baby dolls but often cows are incorporated into that as well. She scans Netflix, looking for shows about animals, especially about livestock. This week Sydney thought she’d like to watch a movie with her oldest sister. Her sister said, “How about a love story?” Sydney said, “Ohhhhh yeah, one with cows in it.” I gave up long ago trying to interest Sydney in Disney princesses and tea parties. I decorated her room in what she loves. She has photos and posters of cattle on her walls. Her bedspread is covered in cows and her curtains are barnyard animals. She is very proud of it. She may have started out in Pskov, Russia but she’s a Kansas farm girl now!

Like what you read?  Want to read more?   Sydney, from the back seat of the van

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Life With Sydney: Never a Dull Moment

Never a dull moment probably should be my motto. A house full of kids kept me busy for a lot of years. Providing educational and social activities for Tate as he is growing up with autism has kept me busy, especially when he was receiving early intervention. Sydney is what keeps me the busiest now and I’m not sure anything else I have done or seen has compared to her activity level and the demands she (and her disability) place on me sometimes. I’m not complaining, just stating a fact. 

Every day is an adventure to Sydney and every activity has the potential to be very memorable. I suppose it is a combination of her ADHD and her Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) and her personality. She is a go-getter, always ready to move and move quickly. She wakes in the morning and within seconds is up and running. I’ve watched kids wake many times over the years. They usually stretch, yawn, rub their eyes, roll over and occasionally go back to sleep. Sometimes they wake grumpy and sometimes they wake happy. With Sydney it is the same every morning. She wakes, HOLLERS for me, and jumps out of bed, to race out of her room. 

Sydney's kite

A couple of days ago, about the time I should have been starting dinner, Sydney came in from playing outside and noted how windy it was. She suggested we fly a kite. I have had a kite on a shelf in my closet for years and it has seldom been flown. She pestered me and begged me and nagged me off and on for an hour. I’d given her several excuses because I really didn’t want to run around a field in the wind. When I had run out of excuses and she had worn me down, I got the kite. We went outside and got that kite right into the air. It wouldn’t stay up long and kept nose-diving to the ground. I remembered from my childhood that a kite sometimes needs a heavier tail so I sent her in for an old bandanna. That was just what that kite needed. It flew really well and stayed up for long periods of time. Listening to Sydney laugh was contagious. She couldn’t stop. I didn’t mind anymore that dinner was going to be way later than usual. She was having the time of her life! Sydney was going to have a memory of flying a kite with her mama and I so enjoy hearing my kids laugh hard when they are having fun. One of my older kids once asked me why I liked going to the amusement park with them since I didn’t like to ride the rides anymore. I don’t know if it is the same for all parents; but for me, watching my kids have fun is one of the “funnest” things there is to do.    

Shawn got home about the time Sydney and I were winding up the kite string to head back inside. Sydney told Shawn all about the kite and showed him a few pictures I had taken on my phone. When Sydney has a really cool experience, Shawn often says to me quietly, “I’ll bet none of those other kids from that orphanage in Russia did that today.” It makes us so happy for Sydney but so sad for all the ones that didn’t go home with anyone. Can you imagine how their days are spent? I suppose, not knowing what they are missing, might mean they aren’t sad about not having it. I don’t know. I do know I am so thankful my God answered our prayers for Sydney, and that she is in our home. She teaches me constantly.

Sydney and Grandpa at the Sale Barn

Sydney sees so many ordinary things as extraordinary. Revolving doors, escalators, and automatic car washes, are as good as any amusement park ride. She loves it when we drive under an overpass because she says she feels like we are in a tunnel. Sydney sees beauty where few others would. Sydney loves animals; and a cow is, by far, her favorite animal. We are planning another trip to the sale barn soon so she can watch cows on the auction block again all afternoon. She would rather do that than anything else we could think of to do. We never pass a field of cows that she doesn’t call out to them. She says things like, “You are beautiful! Eat that grass and stay healthy! I love your color!” Then she exclaims to me over and over about how sweet cows are.  

Sydney thinks her grandparents’ home is a wonderland. There is a cat that will play with Sydney’s hair if she lays on the floor, a tire swing, and her grandma’s walker to push around. A ride out to the pasture to see grandpa’s cows is the high point of any day. Tuesday, Sydney saw chicks at the feed store in town. She was absolutely giddy. Yesterday, we went to Kansas City for her quarterly doctor appointment. As we drove off an exit ramp, she hollered, “Red!  I love red!” She was referring to the van in front of us. She just had to holler about the color red. The doctor allowed Sydney to pick a toy out of a box of prizes. She chose a plastic wolf and played with it all day like it was a very expensive prize.   

Today, we went to Kansas City again to take my dad to a doctor appointment. We had to park in a parking garage and Sydney was absolutely enthralled. She kept exclaiming, “COOL!” She got a huge kick out of the paper towel dispenser in the ladies’ room because it was motion sensitive and kept giving her towels without her having to touch anything. She’s seen all these kinds of things before. We don’t keep her from technology. It’s just that, Sydney doesn’t take things for granted like so many of us do. When we got home from that doctor appointment it sprinkled on us a little. She asked for an umbrella and went outside and marched around in the rain for quite some time.  

Sydney's Herd

Her favorite foods are vegetables and when we order from a menu at a restaurant, she always wants me to ask the waitress if she can just order a plate of vegetables. Her favorite toys are very simple. She loves workbooks, hula-hoops, baby dolls, plastic farm animals, and her remote-control car. I bought a 99 cent spray bottle this week to spray my plants with. She has latched on to that like it is an expensive toy. Watering the plants and squeezing that spray trigger has become a new favorite pastime. It reminded me of something I used to keep her busy with. Her tea party dishes have always been a favorite, but letting her pull a chair up to the sink and WASH those dishes with a few bubbles gave her more pleasure than most of us would find in a day at the zoo or another favorite activity. Sydney loves water and if she doesn’t get to take a bath at the end of the day, she feels like she is being punished. It just doesn't take much to make this kid happy.

I know you might be saying, “all kids like escalators, revolving doors, umbrellas, and car washes,” and maybe they do. All mine have; but it is different with Sydney. She seems to experience things with an intensity that my others did not. Maybe it’s the ADHD. Maybe it’s the FAS. Maybe it is from the neglect she had the first year of her life. Maybe it is just Sydney. Whatever it is, its amazing.  

If you liked this post then you might also enjoy this one: It's a mad mad world.

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Sydney-isms

Sydney often takes things I have said and twists them into different meanings.  There is a liquor store in our town off the main road and we pass it often.  (I cannot figure out how a town as small as ours can support two liquor stores and a bar.  It is very sad.)  When we drive past the liquor store, Sydney says, “That is where you go to throw up.”  The first time she said it, I was left scratching my head and then I remembered… Sydney asked me once what that store sold.  I told her it was a store that sold alcohol and alcohol makes people sick.  She put two and two together and came up with her own conclusion.  Can you picture people pulling in and asking for a bucket?  I wonder if that is what she pictures.  Ha!

When Sydney was a toddler, not able to communicate much yet, she was often confused about how to respond to people.  When she found herself in trouble or embarrassed, she would drop down on all fours and meow.  It usually got a giggle out of someone and it broke the ice for her.  It became a family joke and when any of us got into an awkward situation we would say “meow.”  We still do once in a while. 

Sydney has plastic cows and she plays with them as much as most girls her age play with Barbie dolls.  She loves them.  She slept with several of them last night.  She came into the kitchen with them in her hands this morning and announced in a disappointed voice, “They didn’t even have babies.  I looked all over my bed and there are no new babies.”  Then, she sat a couple calves next to the cow.  She turned to the bull and said, “You don’t have any ‘milkers’ so I can’t deal with you right now.”  Later, she asked me if the mama cow was fat enough to have babies.  I have no idea how am I supposed to assess the “condition” of a plastic cow?  I almost dropped to all fours and meowed, about that time.  Then Sydney said to the cow “eat more grass cow, so you can have a baby.”  She has a lot to learn.  Shawn thinks it would be really funny to buy her another calf and slip it into her bed tonight.  She’d probably just go with it, fully believing those cows had reproduced.