One of the ways autism elbows itself into a family’s
everyday life is via perseveration. Perseveration is one of those words I had
never heard before my son Tate was diagnosed with autism, almost twelve years
ago. It’s a big word that encompasses a lot of things. To perseverate is to get
stuck on something and to be unable to mentally shift gears. It might show up
as a single word or phrase repeated over and over, or an action performed over
and over. A person might wash their hands repeatedly because they are
perseverating on germs. Another might quote lines from their favorite shows on
television because those things seem to be running on a constant loop in their
head.
Some people with autism have very narrow interests and
perseverate on those few things they are interested in. It is different than
someone without autism who might be zealous about a favorite topic. A person
without autism might have an interest or a hobby they enjoy, but with limits.
They can put that hobby away and go back to it at convenient times. A person
with autism may become so consumed by the hobby that he cannot put it on a
backburner. He cannot stop thinking about it or talking about it easily. It
drives him.
While raising children without autism I saw some
passionate interests. One of my sons absolutely loved dinosaurs and Legos when
he was young. We had many books about dinosaurs and lots of Legos. However, he
could put them away for periods of time and find great joy in other things as
well. He enjoyed talking about dinosaurs and wanted to learn the names of
different dinosaurs but he did not talk about dinosaurs for hours each day. One
of my daughters was an avid lover of horses. She could have an intelligent
conversation about horses but did not force that subject on all her friends
daily.
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| This is one of the texts Tate sent out. |
My son Tate’s interests do vary a little. However,
when he finds something he loves he gets stuck on that something, usually for
weeks, sometimes months. There is almost nothing we can do to help him focus on
anything else but the current topic(s) of interest. Most of Tate’s interests
are inspired by the movies he sees. Tate perseverates about movies. He has his
own DVD library that is quite extensive. He memorizes the cast and much of the
dialogue then uses bits of the dialogue throughout our day. Tate is passionate
about movies. About two weeks ago Tate decided he was going to need a video
camera so he can make some movies. He put this on his Christmas list and began texting his family members pictures of cameras, not just any cameras, but professional-looking television cameras. Keep in
mind that money and the value of things is just not a concept Tate has been
able to master. He wants a video camera. He “needs” a video camera. I explained
that his iPad can actually do the same things a video camera can. I talked to
him about all the movies he’s made in the past on the iPad and how great those
are. But no matter how much I talked and reasoned, I got nowhere.
If you do not live with a child with autism then you
might be thinking, “So what? Kids “need” things all the time. You tell them,
“No.” and move on.” Kids should not be spoiled, getting everything they want. Oh
yes. Remember I raised five children without autism before Tate. I have said,
“No. Get over it.” more times than the average mother. But telling a kid with
autism that they will not be getting the thing they desire is different on a
level you simply cannot comprehend until you’ve been there. The constant drip
you have heard from an annoying broken faucet is not even going to touch the
constant drip and the anxiety that you will witness when a child with autism
“needs” something.
After a couple of weeks of knowing Tate expects a
video camera for Christmas and me reminding him over and over that it was not
going to happen, I led him to my closet. The constant "drip" was just more than I could continue to live with.
Long before I walked around with an
iPhone in my hand, always ready to capture video at just a second’s notice, I
owned a small video camera that recorded on 9mm tapes. It hasn’t been used in
at least five and a half years. I got the box off the shelf, wiped a layer of
dust off, and plugged that old camera into a wall socket to charge. I found one
blank tape. Tate stood next to that camera as it charged holding vigil. He
beamed and thanked me for “the early Christmas present.” He assured me over and
over he knew just how to operate it as he had used one at school before. The
instruction manual, also in the box, is written in language that is way over
Tate’s head but no matter. I have little doubt that Tate will have that camera
mastered in a few days' time. His movies will probably consist of tours of our
home and documentaries about the merits of wearing a hoodie. I can almost
guarantee he will be taping himself typing notes and lists using the antique
typewriter he has been obsessing over lately. I imagine for a time he will be
content. The proverbial constant drip about needing a video camera so he can
make movies has been silenced for now, his anxiety turned to joy. I’ll take
joy over anxiety any old day. I will enjoy it while it lasts because there will
be a new drip starting soon enough for me to deal with.
If you like this post, be sure to check out this one: Typewriters and Texts
Also be sure and take a look at Tate's still photographs at The Photos From Tate's Camera.
