Under Construction

The main road between us and our small town is undergoing some major renovations. The power company and other utilities have been digging and moving things for months. We’ve watched the backhoes and other machinery come and go and I have commented to the kids several times about the road into town being widened. This morning there was a sign up that said “Road closed beginning April 24.” Tate snapped to attention when he saw that sign and began protesting and asking questions. You would have thought he was one of the business owners on the strip that have been complaining loudly about losing income while the road is widened. 

I have been dreading the day the road will close because it has the potential to make our daily trek into school stressful for Tate; and, when Tate is stressed, everybody is stressed. Starting his morning out with a detour will not be easy.

When Tate was really young and we had to take an alternate route to a familiar place he would become anxious and cry sometimes. He could read at a young age and recognize road signs and he became upset when he saw a detour sign, even on an unfamiliar road. At first I thought he was bothered by the bright orange color of the detour signs. He could not verbalize his thoughts or fears to me. I understand now that many people with autism like to do the same thing, the same way every time. He associated the word “detour” with “change” or “different” and these things are scary.

Two or three years ago, one of the major roads going the other direction was closed for a couple of months while a new overpass was being built. We had to use a temporary detour road that was new and built to accommodate traffic through that area. Tate had a major problem with going on “the new road.” He would protest and tell me we were going the wrong way. I explained over and over why we were using the different road for a short time. We weren’t so dependent on that route so I was able to avoid it most of the time. After we had used the temporary road for a couple of months he stopped protesting quite so loudly but always commented on it. I think the new route in to school will be accepted after a couple of weeks because Tate is maturing and learning to be more flexible all the time. I just wish he didn’t have to deal with the anxiety initially. I suppose it will get easier all the time. Tate is also “under construction” just like the road.

If you liked this post, here is another about Tate's unique way of looking at things: Pranks Phone Calls and Teaching Tate

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anything for attention

I have been blogging about Tate and have not yet mentioned Sydney.  It is partly because I do not even know where to begin.  Sydney is eight years old and in first grade for the second time.  Sydney is very unique.  She is sweet, funny, loving, very busy, loud, maddening, demanding, and she seldom stops talking.  She is our only adopted child.  She has a diagnosis of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and ADHD.  I have prayed for patience for many years and God answered those prayers with Sydney.  I almost never lose my patience with Tate.  He is quietly needy.  I lose my patience often with Sydney because she is so loud and demanding.  She will do almost anything for attention; including provoking her siblings to anger and rule breaking.  She is not always naughty.  As a matter of fact, she is doing better all the time.  We discovered medication about 3 years ago and it has made a huge difference to Sydney and the whole family.  On medication, her behaviors could almost be seen as typical much of the time.  The first hour of our day is rough.  Once the medication takes effect it is smooth sailing for us… until the middle of the evening when it begins to wear off  By 8:00 PM the medication is no longer in her system.  The most stressful times of the day for me are 7:00-8:00 AM and 8:00-10:00 PM.  During these times Sydney has no impulse control and is in constant motion.  If I can get her to sit still for a minute it is a real accomplishment. There would be no getting her to stop talking though. When Sydney wakes in the morning there is no drifting in and out of sleep or stretching and yawning and lingering in bed.  She opens her eyes, jumps out of bed and her feet hit the floor running.  We put Sydney to bed around 8:30 PM and she sings, claps, wiggles, talks to herself and finds many excuses to get out of bed until around 10:00 when her body finally surrenders to sleep.  Yesterday, I had to take a sibling to school early, before Sydney’s medications had “kicked in” and Sydney rode along.  She clucked like a chicken the whole way to town and about half the way home.  I have learned to tune her out and it did not bother me; but since the clucking did not get a reaction from me she got out of her seatbelt to dance around in the backseat.  She knew that would do it.  I had to pull over and put her back in her seatbelt.  Half an hour later, when we went to town again and her medication was working, she rode along just fine and we were able to converse quietly.  Thank goodness for the wonderful doctor that convinced me to try medications for Sydney.  She couldn’t sit and learn before and now she can.  She does not learn at the same pace as her peers and she has to work hard to learn what she does.  She is reading at grade level this year.  She makes me so proud. 

Many of the things that come out of Sydney’s mouth make me laugh.  Yesterday she asked me “Did I walk on my hind legs when I was a baby?”  When we sing hymns during worship she often gets the words wrong.  “Throw out the life line” has become “Throw out the white wine.”  Either version is a good one in my book.  Sydney often tattles on herself too.  She cannot keep a secret, even if it means she is going to get in trouble.  I could write volumes about Sydney’s antics and I probably will.  Things are definitely never boring when she is present. 

Find me on Facebook at Quirks and Chaos. Like what you read? Want to become a follower? Click on the Google Friend Following gadget on this blog. It's over on the right side and asks you to subscribe. Or you can add the URL (the web address in your search bar) to your Reading List. You can do that by clicking the plus sign in front of the URL. Thanks!