Under Construction

The main road between us and our small town is undergoing some major renovations. The power company and other utilities have been digging and moving things for months. We’ve watched the backhoes and other machinery come and go and I have commented to the kids several times about the road into town being widened. This morning there was a sign up that said “Road closed beginning April 24.” Tate snapped to attention when he saw that sign and began protesting and asking questions. You would have thought he was one of the business owners on the strip that have been complaining loudly about losing income while the road is widened. 

I have been dreading the day the road will close because it has the potential to make our daily trek into school stressful for Tate; and, when Tate is stressed, everybody is stressed. Starting his morning out with a detour will not be easy.

When Tate was really young and we had to take an alternate route to a familiar place he would become anxious and cry sometimes. He could read at a young age and recognize road signs and he became upset when he saw a detour sign, even on an unfamiliar road. At first I thought he was bothered by the bright orange color of the detour signs. He could not verbalize his thoughts or fears to me. I understand now that many people with autism like to do the same thing, the same way every time. He associated the word “detour” with “change” or “different” and these things are scary.

Two or three years ago, one of the major roads going the other direction was closed for a couple of months while a new overpass was being built. We had to use a temporary detour road that was new and built to accommodate traffic through that area. Tate had a major problem with going on “the new road.” He would protest and tell me we were going the wrong way. I explained over and over why we were using the different road for a short time. We weren’t so dependent on that route so I was able to avoid it most of the time. After we had used the temporary road for a couple of months he stopped protesting quite so loudly but always commented on it. I think the new route in to school will be accepted after a couple of weeks because Tate is maturing and learning to be more flexible all the time. I just wish he didn’t have to deal with the anxiety initially. I suppose it will get easier all the time. Tate is also “under construction” just like the road.

If you liked this post, here is another about Tate's unique way of looking at things: Pranks Phone Calls and Teaching Tate

Find me on Facebook at Quirks and Chaos. Like what you read? Want to become a follower? Click on the Google Friend Following gadget on this blog. It's over on the right side and asks you to subscribe. Or you can add the URL (the web address in your search bar) to your Reading List. You can do that by clicking the plus sign in front of the URL. Thanks! 

Impulse Control

She's into everything!

One of the biggest concerns we have about Sydney is her lack of impulse control. If she thinks it, she says it. If she sees it, she reaches out to touch it. If she wants it, she grabs it. A person with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome often lacks the “filter” the rest of us have. Because Sydney doesn’t plan ahead, natural consequences and cause-and-effect are not really the teachers that they should be. Sometimes she does learn to control a behavior or an impulse in a certain situation because of repetition. But, if that same situation doesn’t come up again for a while, she will probably forget and have to relearn the consequence. It is frustrating to us all, her included I imagine. 

This evening we did a little shopping. Levi had some birthday money to spend. Sydney emptied her piggy bank a few nights ago and had twenty dollars. Numbers mean nothing to her but I patiently explained at length what twenty dollars could and could not do for her. We went to Target. She saw many things she wanted that were way out of her price range and just could NOT understand why she couldn’t walk out with them but I stood firm. She settled on a small squishy dinosaur that was only a few dollars. She loves those squishy toys. Her sensory needs are extraordinary. Levi didn’t find what he wanted in Target so we went over to Best Buy. Sydney saw a DVD box with a dolphin on it. It was Season One of the old television show, “Flipper” and it was only $9.99, on sale. She was THRILLED when I said she had enough money left to buy it. Sydney has two favorite animals: cows and dolphins. Once, at the end of the school day she did not come out with her class. She had a substitute teacher that day and the sub and I had to hunt Sydney down. She was in the library looking for a book about dolphins. She did not understand why the grownups did not know that was where she would be. It was only logical she thought. UGH!

Sydney with her brothers, Levi and Tate.
She sometimes just called them "the brothers."

  
After Best Buy we went to Walmart to get a few things. Sydney wanted one of everything we saw.  I told her over and over she didn’t have enough money left to buy anything else and she was not going to get anything in Walmart. She whined. She shed a few tears. She kept asking. I asked her to stop. I told her to stop. I demanded she stop. I finally got down and quietly chewed her out for misbehaving. I told her to watch the boys and see how they were acting. They were not getting anything in Walmart but they were not complaining. I lectured her about being thankful for what she had gotten at the other stores. I talked to her about how much she was going to love watching her dolphin show when we got home. I told her NOT to ask me for ONE more thing in Walmart. I asked her if she understood. She said she did. I had her repeat to me that she would not ask for anything else, “not one more thing.” We got about ten feet from where I had stopped to lecture her and she saw a book. Can you guess what I heard? “OH MOM, LOOK! I WANT THAT BOOK! Can I have it?” I said “SYDNEY!  REMEMBER? Not one more thing?” She looked at me like she had no idea what I was talking about.   

Almost every evening, at some point, Sydney and Shawn play a game of cards. It has helped her a lot with number recognition and she loves nothing more than having Shawn’s undivided attention. They usually play “Go Fish” but some nights it is “Slap Jack” or another game. She talks the ENTIRE time they play. She chatters without taking a breath. She CAN NOT keep quiet about what cards she has either. She will tell Shawn what her cards are as soon as they begin, no matter how many times we remind her to keep quiet. Sometimes she tells him by saying “Dad, do NOT ask for 2s or 5s.” Last night, when one of her cards fell on the floor she hollered, "Don't look at that Queen!" She cracks us up every night. Sydney has such a great Daddy. He is so patient. He got a double dose of impulse control so he has enough for both of them. 

If you found this post interesting, here is a similar one: heart attacks and loose teeth.

Find me on Facebook at Quirks and Chaos. Like what you read? Want to become a follower? Click on the Google Friend Following gadget on this blog. It's over on the right side and asks you to subscribe. Or you can add the URL (the web address in your search bar) to your Reading List. You can do that by clicking the plus sign in front of the URL. Thanks! 

In the dark

This morning Tate asked me if the power went out at home yesterday. I thought a minute and said “No. Did it go out at school?” He said that it had. Levi and Sydney chimed in that the power had gone out at their schools, as well. I asked Tate if the power going out had bothered him and he said it had not. Why is this worthy of me writing about? There are a couple of reasons. First, Tate doesn’t often share anything with me about his day, nor does he usually begin casual conversations. He began a conversation with a question about me and my day, which led to sharing something with me about his experience away from home. Secondly, Tate has overcome (for the most part) one of his biggest anxieties: power outages. 

It began when he was a toddler. A power flicker sent him into a meltdown. There would be crying, hyperventilating, and lots of stimming. If the power stayed off for more than a few minutes and it was anywhere close to bedtime, I would just take him to my bed and hold him tight until he fell asleep. He was so terrified. As Tate got older he became obsessed about the whole issue. He worried about the power going out and talked about it a lot. Because he didn’t really have conversations but mostly just talked AT us, it was hard to reason with him about anything. If it looked like rain then he began worrying. It took me a while to understand what the real issue was. I thought maybe he had a fear there might be a tornado since we do live in Kansas and have many warnings. I thought he was afraid of the thunder and lighting and the dark when the power went out. I bought flashlights that charge in the outlet and stay lit when the power goes out. I wrote a social story about storms and the dark. But, I discovered it wasn’t really about the darkness or the storm outside so much. He was really afraid of the unpredictability. He had to be able to COUNT ON the lights when he flipped the switch. Tate’s world revolves around the television and other technology. When the lights went out, the television stopped and the VCR stopped; and it was all out of his control. The meltdown was not out of anger and never about the fact that the movie ended prematurely, as it might have been for a typical toddler. The meltdown was out of anxiety because he did not KNOW when the power would come back on and the television and lights were no longer reliable. Tate has to KNOW what comes next to feel secure. His world is much smaller than yours or mine. Tate has never had the amount of anxiety away from home in a power outage that he has had at home during a power outage. At school they would tell me he might act a little nervous but never have a meltdown. I worried that the school staff might think my warnings about power outages were exaggerated or that I somehow caused the anxiety he had myself. When you have a child with autism who does not communicate well, it is hard not to worry about what other people think. I believe he saved the extreme reaction for me because he could “be himself” with me and show me his anxieties. Of course, there was no television to go out at school and that helped too. I saw evidence of him being anxious about the power outages at school when he returned home.  He saved it for me. It was similar when Tate had a substitute teacher. I asked over and over for “them” to warn me when there would be a substitute but he did not melt down over having a sub at school so “they” did not seem to believe that it was a real issue. He saved the anxiety for me. He would talk about it all evening and ask me who his teacher would be the next day. If I didn’t know for sure then I couldn’t tell him. A lot of times the regular education teachers let me know if there would be a para switch (if they knew themselves) and they always let me know if they would not be there themselves. With warning Tate did well with a substitute. Springing it on him caused anxiety. He needed the predictability. He still needs the predictability but he is more able to handle irregularity now. 

Tate didn’t have a reaction to yesterday’s power outage at home or at school (I asked). Since he only casually mentioned it to me this morning I am elated at the progress we have made. The last few times we have had power outages at home he retired to his bed with a flashlight and a battery operated game. He stims a little more but he does not cry or panic. There is light at the end of our dark tunnel… pun intended. 

Find me on Facebook at Quirks and Chaos. Like what you read? Want to become a follower? Click on the Google Friend Following gadget on this blog. It's over on the right side and asks you to subscribe. Or you can add the URL (the web address in your search bar) to your Reading List. You can do that by clicking the plus sign in front of the URL. Thanks! 

Giving credit where credit is due

In some of my other posts I have talked about the progress Tate has made. I would like to give credit to some of the people who have made the progress possible. The number one reason Tate is able to do what he can today and he is not nearly as handicapped as he once was, is because we hired Nan, a Board Certified Behavior Analyst, as soon as we got the diagnosis of autism. I usually just call her our Behavior Consultant. She knows more about autism than anyone else I have met. I will always be grateful to her; because without her, we would not have the Tate we have today.  We saw progress immediately when Nan began working with Tate. I can only imagine all the times my phone calls have interrupted her sleep, work, and family time. Nan goes with me to IEP meetings and has helped me to obtain so many services for Tate that I would not have even known to ask for myself. She has become like family to us. 

Tate and Melissa

A Baker student named Melissa came to work with Tate in our in-home program before he started preschool. She stuck with us for a long time and she is dear to my heart. She was just finishing up her teaching degree and doing her student teaching in an elementary school when she began working with Tate. After working with Tate a short time she decided to go back to school and teach children with autism. She finished and has made an impact on many children with autism now. She is a fantastic teacher; one of the best we’ve known.

There were many college students that worked with Tate in his early intervention program during his preschool years. I could not begin to name them all. Tate developed real relationships with some of them and most could motivate him to work hard. They made learning fun. Tate had such a crush on one of his first teachers that he would work just to see her smile. I watched one student “drag” Tate through the sprinkler and get soaked herself many times so he could experience the water play his peers so enjoyed. Tate idolized one of his last teachers and I believe he is the reason Tate wears a hat faithfully.  That teacher always wore a ball cap and he called Tate his best buddy. That really meant something to Tate. One teacher told me she always drank an energy drink before working with Tate because she had to have enough energy for both of them. She was also one of the best. Tate could always tell if a teacher really enjoyed being with him or if they were there just to fulfill their practicum requirements. Many times the college students gave us valuable ideas and feedback that helped Tate to grow and learn.

Tate with Richie

Tate has had some extraordinary paraprofessionals over the years. His very first para in kindergarten actually had been one of the practicum students we had in his preschool program. Shelly is a “kid magnet” and was so good for Tate’s social skills and academics that year. I wish we could have kept her! The para Tate had in first and second grade was very good with Tate.  She was able to keep him motivated much of the time and she helped to give Tate the sense of humor he has now. I will always be thankful for her. The para Tate has currently is an amazing guy. He is a natural with Tate and can almost read his mind at times. Tate idolizes him and wants to please him so Tate works hard at school and enjoys doing it. A paraprofessional is not paid very much but can make such an impact on the life of a child. They are in the business of making a difference.

Tate has had some remarkable speech pathologists since he started public school. They have supervised lunch buddy programs and social skills groups and role played with Tate.  We have learned about reciprocity, conversation skills, follow up questions, and much more.  Tate has learned so much in his speech classes. When Tate began school and I was told he qualified for time with a speech pathologist I didn’t understand why. He pronounced words just fine. I have learned, speech isn’t about the pronunciation of words; but it is about communication and social skills. I am so thankful for the speech teachers we have known. 

I did not know what an O.T. was when Tate began school. The same Occupational Therapist has been on Tate’s IEP team since kindergarten. The O.T. our district employs is one of the most amazing people we have encountered in public school. She works so hard to help Tate be successful and she always has great ideas. She puts in a lot more than forty hours a week, often working in the evening on books she wants to rewrite at Tate’s level and other things that will help him. She has also introduced us to technology in the classroom.  She is always an encourager.

Mrs. Iverson, Tate, Mrs. Kelly

The Resource Room teacher Tate has this year is unparalleled. I can’t even begin to describe the differences in our lives because we have her on our team. We were not able to have a working relationship with a RR teacher before. We have seen more progress this year than we have since Tate began kindergarten. Tate’s RR teacher is a bundle of energy.  She is knowledgeable, kind, humble, professional, and she shares information with me so we are working together. I have so much confidence in her. I trust her and I like her and she is an answer to my prayers.

Lastly, I have to mention Tate’s principals and general education teachers. The rural school Tate attended in kindergarten, first, second and third grade was a wonderful place. The principal was top notch and the teachers were all some of the best educators I have ever known.  Tate’s teachers were cooperative, kind and so willing to make accommodations for Tate. They made Tate feel like he was a valuable part of the class, even when he was not doing the same work the rest of the class was doing. The teachers went above and beyond what was required of them, often without being asked. Our rural school was closed last year and the move to town was much easier than I anticipated for Tate. The move went well, in part, because the principal at Tate’s new school was so supportive. He allowed me to take pictures, visit the school several times with Tate, and to give teachers and students information about autism. The fourth grade teacher Tate has now is so talented and giving.  She always goes the extra mile. She is creative and “thinks out of the box.” She has used video clips and songs to teach Tate concepts or to motivate him. She is always willing to “go the extra mile.” I wish I could keep Tate in fourth grade a few more years. That is how much I like his fourth grade teacher. I am, however, excited about the teacher Tate will have next year as she moved into town with us from the rural school and she is one of my very favorite people on the planet. 

In a nutshell, above are some of the people that have impacted Tate’s progress, which in turn affects our whole family. I will probably edit over and over as I think of people I should have mentioned. I am not sure people always understand their significance or the difference they make in the lives of the children they teach. I have raised (or am raising) five typically developing children. Their teachers have made a difference! However, it is my experience, when a child has a disability or cannot communicate well, the differences a teacher can make seem to be even bigger. When a teacher takes her responsibility (the job she or he signed up for) seriously she can move mountains. When a teacher bullies, is uncooperative or lazy, the student cannot make progress and a lot of time is lost that can never be regained. A teacher has the ability to make our lives so much easier or to make our lives much more difficult. Small things that would only take minutes can sometimes save Tate (and our family) hours of anxiety. Thankfully, we have had dozens and dozens of people who did take their jobs seriously for every one that did not. I can only remember a very few who would have made better “burger flippers” than teachers. 

An Easter joke

Tate’s literal thinking keeps him from getting the punch line of most jokes. Many of the funny things Tate says, he has learned from a television show or movie.  He has the ability to often use those phrases in an appropriate situation and get a laugh.  We can often identify the television character or show where the joke originated.  This week Tate keeps telling a joke that he modified from a “Sponge Bob” Xmas show.  He modified it to fit Easter, which is tomorrow.  It goes like this: “I cannot believe that anyone would celebrate a holiday where a bunny breaks into your house and leaves gifts in a basket!”  It is cute.  He does understand the joke.  He did generalize it and make it fit the occasion.  However, it is not his own original thought.  He isn’t there yet.  After Tate’s autism diagnosis, at age two and a half, we began early intervention.  We taught him to pretend, but he could then only pretend the things he had been shown.  He could not come up with anything on his own.  However, he does come up with his own sequence of events and original ideas now when pretending. 

Tate is very visual as most people with autism are and cartoons are what he laughs at the most.  Tate LOVES the movie theater and we have spent a lot of time there lately.  We have seen “The Muppet Movie,” “The Big Miracle,” “The Secret World of Arriety,” “Journey to the Mysterious Island,” and “The Lorrax.” When a preferred movie is coming to the big screen or is going to be released on dvd, he knows the date and plans an outing to go to the theater or purchase the dvd.  He can be very persuasive too.  Because he is interested in so few things and asks for almost nothing, I try to accommodate his desires in this area.  I can say “no” when I need to though.  If we see a movie at the theater and I was not happy with the language or storyline then I let him know we will not be purchasing the dvd.  A couple of conversations about it will usually convince him that I am not going to change my mind and he accepts it.    

We have seen the previews to a new release called “Pirates: Band of Misfits” that we are looking forward to.  We have also seen previews for “The Three Stooges” and I am a bit worried about that one but he sure wants to see it.  I try to steer my kids clear of the movies and shows that are crude or crass.  I especially hate bathroom humor.  I told Tate that I would NOT be taking him to see a movie about the stooges so he has asked Dad to take him.  Shawn likes the stooges.  The preview we saw showed the classic move that is used by the stooges where one of them pokes someone in the eyes with two fingers. Tate doubles up laughing, as most boys his age would.  I guess that is a good thing?  I am aiming for “age appropriate behavior.” 

anything for attention

I have been blogging about Tate and have not yet mentioned Sydney.  It is partly because I do not even know where to begin.  Sydney is eight years old and in first grade for the second time.  Sydney is very unique.  She is sweet, funny, loving, very busy, loud, maddening, demanding, and she seldom stops talking.  She is our only adopted child.  She has a diagnosis of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and ADHD.  I have prayed for patience for many years and God answered those prayers with Sydney.  I almost never lose my patience with Tate.  He is quietly needy.  I lose my patience often with Sydney because she is so loud and demanding.  She will do almost anything for attention; including provoking her siblings to anger and rule breaking.  She is not always naughty.  As a matter of fact, she is doing better all the time.  We discovered medication about 3 years ago and it has made a huge difference to Sydney and the whole family.  On medication, her behaviors could almost be seen as typical much of the time.  The first hour of our day is rough.  Once the medication takes effect it is smooth sailing for us… until the middle of the evening when it begins to wear off  By 8:00 PM the medication is no longer in her system.  The most stressful times of the day for me are 7:00-8:00 AM and 8:00-10:00 PM.  During these times Sydney has no impulse control and is in constant motion.  If I can get her to sit still for a minute it is a real accomplishment. There would be no getting her to stop talking though. When Sydney wakes in the morning there is no drifting in and out of sleep or stretching and yawning and lingering in bed.  She opens her eyes, jumps out of bed and her feet hit the floor running.  We put Sydney to bed around 8:30 PM and she sings, claps, wiggles, talks to herself and finds many excuses to get out of bed until around 10:00 when her body finally surrenders to sleep.  Yesterday, I had to take a sibling to school early, before Sydney’s medications had “kicked in” and Sydney rode along.  She clucked like a chicken the whole way to town and about half the way home.  I have learned to tune her out and it did not bother me; but since the clucking did not get a reaction from me she got out of her seatbelt to dance around in the backseat.  She knew that would do it.  I had to pull over and put her back in her seatbelt.  Half an hour later, when we went to town again and her medication was working, she rode along just fine and we were able to converse quietly.  Thank goodness for the wonderful doctor that convinced me to try medications for Sydney.  She couldn’t sit and learn before and now she can.  She does not learn at the same pace as her peers and she has to work hard to learn what she does.  She is reading at grade level this year.  She makes me so proud. 

Many of the things that come out of Sydney’s mouth make me laugh.  Yesterday she asked me “Did I walk on my hind legs when I was a baby?”  When we sing hymns during worship she often gets the words wrong.  “Throw out the life line” has become “Throw out the white wine.”  Either version is a good one in my book.  Sydney often tattles on herself too.  She cannot keep a secret, even if it means she is going to get in trouble.  I could write volumes about Sydney’s antics and I probably will.  Things are definitely never boring when she is present. 

Find me on Facebook at Quirks and Chaos. Like what you read? Want to become a follower? Click on the Google Friend Following gadget on this blog. It's over on the right side and asks you to subscribe. Or you can add the URL (the web address in your search bar) to your Reading List. You can do that by clicking the plus sign in front of the URL. Thanks! 

time flies and books from heaven

We are working hard on figurative language. The phrase we are actively targeting right now is “time flies” and I think we have mastered this one. I have been saying it in appropriate situations for days now and then explaining what I mean. Tate used it himself in a sentence tonight when he told me he had played on the i-pad during recess today and “time flew” then he went on to explain that he meant time seemed to go by fast for him when he was playing on the i-pad. I love it! He is catching on to some new figurative language. We are having fun with it. He both generalized the phrase and changed the tense from “flies” to “flew.” VERY COOL!

Tate told me he had not been able to use the i-pad at school today at the time he normally does. He said that his schedule today was changed around and it would be different again tomorrow. Tate loves routine but needs to learn to be flexible so changes in his schedule are good therapy. I asked him if the changes bothered him and he said “no worries.” He has been saying “no worries” a lot lately. I think he got it from his wonderful RR teacher. I have heard her say it. It reminds me of another phrase he often uses: “No big deal.” His speech teacher from Kindergarten taught him to say that when was close to a melt down over something small. I remember being skeptical it would work but it did help him. When he says “No big deal” or “No worries” it is similar to one of us taking a deep breath or counting to ten. Sometimes, he says it and still breaks down because he cannot always control his anxieties. Self-monitoring and self control are emerging with maturity; although a few years later than his peers. 

Tate doesn’t usually share much about his day so I am very thankful for a note that comes home with him this year. It helps me to start conversations with him in the evenings about things that went on at school. However, this evening I have not needed the note to prompt anything. Tate was a regular chatter box tonight. Apparently, his para had given him some crunchy peanut butter and crackers today. Tate believes his para hung the moon (OH… I should definitely introduce that phrase to Tate soon!) and his para has been very successful at getting Tate to try some new foods. I guess crunchy peanut butter will not be going on my grocery list though. Tate said “You KNOW I only eat SMOOOOOOTH peanut butter.” Then he went on to say the only crunchy things he likes are cereal, toast and waffles.  There are a lot of sensory issues that often accompany autism. A limited diet is also often a problem for those with autism.

In Bible class this evening Tate was much more engaged than usual. He had a random question toward the end of class: “So, when is God’s birthday, anyway?” I answered, “God doesn’t have a birthday.” He continued, “Why is that?” I responded with “God does not have a mom and He wasn’t born.” Tate said “Was He created?” Why questions were not asked for years because Tate has autism. He has to start with this one? Haha. He has actually been asking why questions for a while now but they are not frequent, nor are theological questions so the whole evening was amazing. The funniest thing Tate said tonight was “Hey, do you want to read one of those books from heaven?” He meant a Bible story book.  I have a shelf full in our classroom at the church building and since they are at the church building then Tate put two and two together. They are books from heaven. 

Like what you read? Want to become a follower? Click on the Google Friend Following gadget on this blog. It's over on the right side and asks you to subscribe. Or you can add the URL (the web address in your search bar) to your Reading List. You can do that by clicking the plus sign in front of the URL. Thanks!  Follow us on Facebook at Quirks and Chaos.

when a rock is not a stone

I am currently looking for ideas and teaching materials to help me teach Tate figurative language: idioms, synonyms, antonyms, metaphors, and analogies. I am hitting this hard right now as I have just come from a conference about social communication and it has made me more determined than ever to help Tate with the nuts and bolts of everyday language.  Sometimes I target a specific area or lesson and work on it harder than anything else.  I always work on language but I am specifically going to work hard on figurative language over the summer.

Children with autism have to be taught things systematically.  They do not absorb things from their environment, as do typically developing children.   We have to teach Tate that one word can mean multiple things, different words can stand for the same thing and different words can have opposite meanings.  I've actually been working on these things for years. 

One of the first discrete trial programs we did with Tate in early intervention was teaching "categories."  He had to be taught language very systematically.  We had pictures of animals and pictures of clothing, as well as other categories.  He had to sort these things into the correct piles, thus teaching him that pants and shirts were both items of clothing, and dogs, squirrels and cows were all called animals.  This was a hard concept for him.  He didn't mind matching cows to cows or dogs to dogs, no matter what the breed or color.  That made sense to him.  But when we tried to get him to put the dogs and cows and rodents all into the same pile, he balked.  He finally gave in and did what we asked but he then changed his word for "cow" to "animal" because if a cow wasn't just a cow then it was an animal.  It could not be both.  In his mind, each animal had its own category and he couldn't see the bigger  picture.  We have run into this over and over throughout the years.  We've had discrete trial programs that taught him that an insect could also be called a bug and a stick was also called a twig.  He memorizes these things and retains them eventually with repetitive teaching.  

Rocky

We no longer do discrete trial at a table and the teaching methods are not as rigid as they were when he was a preschooler.  Now we do a lot of our teaching incidentally, throughout the day.  Example:  a few days ago I used the word stone and could tell he drew a blank.  I said "a stone is like a rock.  You can use either word when you are talking about a rock."  His reply was "Rocky is not a stone."  People who  know Tate will know exactly what that meant.  Tate has a rock; a pet rock, named Rocky.  He has had Rocky for about 3 years I think.  I have no real memory of where Rocky came from but one day... there was Rocky.  He is about the size of a baseball and he is a member of the family.  He sits on the shelf at the head of  Tate's bed. We go for periods of time without hearing anything about Rocky but we also have days that he is right here with us, watching and participating in our activities.  I personally think that Rocky has autism.  He is awfully quiet.  haha  Tate always seems to know what Rocky is thinking though.  One morning, a year or two ago, Tate announced at the breakfast table that it was Rocky's birthday.  Rocky expected a cake that evening for dinner.  Of course, I could not disappoint the guy.  We had cake and Tate blew out the candles.  Tate had also expected Rocky to get a new dvd for his birthday but I had no idea so there were no gifts.  Luckily, Tate and Rocky were forgiving.  

Last week, one of Tate's siblings went into his room and Tate was sitting on the bed with an umbrella open and he and Rocky were huddled under it.  Tate was pretending.  Pretending is always celebrated as Tate's imagination is very limited.  Tonight, as Shawn was putting Tate to bed, Tate was holding Rocky.  Shawn told Tate that we hadn't been seeing much of Rocky lately.  Tate's reply?  "Rocky does not like being called a stone."  Apparently, I have hurt Rocky's feelings by trying to teach a synonym for the word "rock" a few days ago.  ha!  I love my boy.

Rocky's birthday: 
Rocky is the one on the table. 
Tate is the one in the chair.