Tate's a Freshman, Part 2

My son Tate has autism. Tate is a freshman in High School this year, and is just beginning the second quarter. At this point, his teachers have gotten to know him and his quirks, his abilities and his inabilities, some of his anxieties and obsessions, and just how much fun he is to have around.

This is the second in a series of posts about Tate's freshman year of High School. You might like to start with the first. If you haven't already seen it, click here: Transitioning to High School with Autism

Last week I attended parent/teacher conferences. I always go to meetings with new teachers with just a little trepidation, hoping they “get” what autism is and how to best communicate with Tate. 

I got to hear some really fun stories about how Tate is settling in and how his teachers this year have come to enjoy him. And I got to hear the other side of a few of the things Tate has come home and told me about. 

One of my favorite stories was about World History class. Tate really likes his World History class. Or at least he likes the projector that hangs from the ceiling.

And Tate is excelling in math this year.

Although Tate’s math teacher had nice things to say about him, Tate is unsure she really knows much about math at all.

The math teacher is not the only teacher who has given Tate new notions to ponder.

This is the first year Tate has had no organized lunch buddy program. He is doing well on his own. One of the teachers he had in Junior High sat with him while he ate lunch recently.  

Lunch was not the only concern I had about Tate being in High School. I worried about his ability to maneuver through the crowd. Choreographing his movements to those around him is difficult for Tate. They tell me he is colliding with others less frequently now. Tate's size is intimidating enough that he will likely never be hurt, but I do worry about the other guys.

Not many kids like homework, and Tate is no exception. The name “homework” itself annoys him. If it is schoolwork, then it should stay at school. It baffles Tate that schoolwork can be brought home and relabeled as homework. He does not like his two worlds to mix.

If you like reading about Tate, follow us on Facebook at Quirks and Chaos.

What is a bully?

My fifteen-year-old son, Tate, is a freshman in High School. Tate has autism. To my knowledge Tate has never had to deal with peer who is a bully. I have a theory or two about the why(s) behind that and you can read about all of that here: A Successful Buddy Program

It is hard for some to believe that Tate does not have a problem with bullies. Many people have told me that bullying is just something their children with autism have to live with. I have had a few people suggest to me that Tate is likely being bullied for his differences, but is either unable to recognize it himself and complain, or that I am just too out-of-touch to know. It really is hard for some people to understand that we seem to have done what is considered "the impossible." There simply are no bullies in Tate's life.

Because the month of October is bullying prevention month, I decided to talk to my two special needs kids about bullying. I asked Tate if he knew what a bully is. He said, "a bully is someone who is mean to kids." I walked away and came back a bit later to ask him to go a bit more into depth about what a bully is. This time he said, "a bully picks on kids." So I asked him what a bully looks like. He told me a bully looks like a big kid who is really mean. I asked him if a little kid could ever be a bully and he said, "yes." I asked him if a grown up could be a bully. He again answered, "yes." So I asked him if he knew any bullies. He exclaimed, "no!" 

I wanted to explain some things about bullying to Tate and his younger sister, and that is best done with visuals for my two literal kids. The following is what I came up with... 

Let me know if I got it right. Are there things here you would change or add? Find me on Facebook at Quirks and Chaos. 

If you give a mom an Autism Speaks gift card...

It's no secret that a large majority of my followers are following because they saw one of my posts on the Autism Speaks site. So I do not have to explain to you readers who they are and what they do. 

Autism Speaks has been really good to me and to Tate. Most recently, a representative of the online shop (http://bit.ly/2dOLZAy) sent us some merchandise to review. Knowing Tate as they do, there was a hoodie in the box. If you have followed us long at all you will know Tate puts a hoodie on in September and doesn't take it off until the end of May. He is a connoisseur of hoodies. He loved the Autism Speaks hoodie. It just so happened it came the evening before his birthday and he wore it on his birthday, proudly. 

I was asked to choose some things to review or blog about and was excited. I was excited, but it still took me two or three days to look at everything the shop had to offer. It was because I kept getting called away. The kids needed me. The phone rang. I had appointments. And one thing kept leading to another. 

And because of my love of the picture book series by Laura Numeroff, I was reminded of the mouse who is so distracted by everything around him, as I was trying to place that order! I decided to cartoon what it is like for a busy mom to shop online sometimes. 

Use this link to go to the Autism Speaks shop. If you place an order or buy a loved one a gift card, let them know that Lisa and Tate from Quirks and Chaos sent you.  http://bit.ly/2dOLZAy

And I'd love to hear what you liked best in the shop!