Hobos, Goosebumps and Wiffle Balls

When my youngest son Tate was diagnosed with autism, he was around two and a half years old. Our story is similar to a lot of others I’ve heard over the years. There was an initial frantic search for services and therapies, years of early intervention that were hard to pay for, then denial that my son would be forever handicapped. Much progress was made and there were hopes of a “recovery” and then finally, there was acceptance.

Some days are a little harder than others. Most days we do okay. A sense of humor helps. A lot. Knowing we are not alone also helps. I like to blog about our experiences in hopes that I can make things a little easier for the parents who are coming after me. Lately I’ve been illustrating some of the things Tate does that may seem a bit odd to others in an effort help people understand autism a little better.

At age fourteen, Tate still sometimes misses things that are very obvious to the rest of us. And sometimes he is sure he understands things the rest of us are confused about when the reverse is actually true. Because Tate sees the world differently than I do I am often learning things from him. I have learned to appreciate his unique take on things.  

Below are a few of the illustrations I have made so you can have a peek into our lives. There are many more to come so watch for future posts. 

He technically knew what he was talking about here.

Tate's tries hard to make jokes. He thought telling his sister that she was not really seeing cows was so funny to him. He sure schooled us on what a hobo is too.

Wiffle a ball? 

This is one of my favorite happenings ever. Tate was so excited to share his discovery.

He sure thought he was helping here. 

Figurative language is often a problem for Tate. 

If only we all said what we really mean...

Goosebumps have nothing to do with geese? 

I learned never to try to teach Tate about figurative language unless there are no distractions.

If you liked this post you might also like: There is no ham in hamburgers.

Subways and Peanuts

Riding the Subway

Tate loves flying and especially likes the take offs. So Thursday night, when I asked, I thought he’d probably say flying was the best part of the whole trip so far. But he told me the best part of our trip had been the subway. The subway of all things. That dirty, crowded, noisy, underground train. We had flown, ridden in a NYC Taxi, taken a ferry, seen the Statue of Liberty, and caught sight of a lot of the things he knows from all his movies, but the subway was his favorite.

On the Staten Island Ferry

The highlight of Thursday for most of the family was seeing the statue of Liberty. The statue of Liberty was huge for me. HUGE. Like it has been on my bucket list my whole life. But as wonderful as that experience was, I had one just as amazing (for me) sitting with Tate in the St Louis airport. We were waiting for our next flight, and I sat, astonished, watching Tate devour honey-roasted peanuts he’d gotten on the plane. I exclaimed, “Tate! You like peanuts?” He said, “Mom, I like peanut butter so I like peanuts.” Knock me over with a feather. I had tried that tactic with him many times over the years: “Tate, peanut butter is made from peanuts. Try them. You’ll like them.” He won’t let me use crunchy peanut butter on his peanut butter sandwiches. He eats plain m&ms but never peanut m&ms. But, he was eating those peanuts and acting like it was no big deal. This is a kid that for many years only ate about ten things total. He just does not normally nonchalantly tell his mother he now eats things she does not know about. Wow. He told me he had tried peanuts in the fourth grade when someone brought some to school to share. And then there was this other thing that happened while I was sitting in the St. Louis airport with Tate while he ate peanuts. And this one is probably much bigger than the first. Tate said to me, “Want to hear something funny? These are peanuts but there is no pee in them.” And he began to laugh. He told me a joke! A joke! He made up a joke. And although it was the kind of joke a five year old would tell and it was a potty joke, it was a joke. My kid with autism told me a joke. And what did I do? I said, “Tate, we don’t tell jokes like that. It is not nice to joke about pee.” And then I texted my best friend, Tate’s behavior consultant, and my husband (who was off buying us lunch), because I had to tell them how cool it was that Tate had told me a joke. And because they understand autism, they all got that it was a really cool thing, bodily fluids or not.

This was post two of our travels. If you have not already, go read post one.

An Easter joke

Tate’s literal thinking keeps him from getting the punch line of most jokes. Many of the funny things Tate says, he has learned from a television show or movie.  He has the ability to often use those phrases in an appropriate situation and get a laugh.  We can often identify the television character or show where the joke originated.  This week Tate keeps telling a joke that he modified from a “Sponge Bob” Xmas show.  He modified it to fit Easter, which is tomorrow.  It goes like this: “I cannot believe that anyone would celebrate a holiday where a bunny breaks into your house and leaves gifts in a basket!”  It is cute.  He does understand the joke.  He did generalize it and make it fit the occasion.  However, it is not his own original thought.  He isn’t there yet.  After Tate’s autism diagnosis, at age two and a half, we began early intervention.  We taught him to pretend, but he could then only pretend the things he had been shown.  He could not come up with anything on his own.  However, he does come up with his own sequence of events and original ideas now when pretending. 

Tate is very visual as most people with autism are and cartoons are what he laughs at the most.  Tate LOVES the movie theater and we have spent a lot of time there lately.  We have seen “The Muppet Movie,” “The Big Miracle,” “The Secret World of Arriety,” “Journey to the Mysterious Island,” and “The Lorrax.” When a preferred movie is coming to the big screen or is going to be released on dvd, he knows the date and plans an outing to go to the theater or purchase the dvd.  He can be very persuasive too.  Because he is interested in so few things and asks for almost nothing, I try to accommodate his desires in this area.  I can say “no” when I need to though.  If we see a movie at the theater and I was not happy with the language or storyline then I let him know we will not be purchasing the dvd.  A couple of conversations about it will usually convince him that I am not going to change my mind and he accepts it.    

We have seen the previews to a new release called “Pirates: Band of Misfits” that we are looking forward to.  We have also seen previews for “The Three Stooges” and I am a bit worried about that one but he sure wants to see it.  I try to steer my kids clear of the movies and shows that are crude or crass.  I especially hate bathroom humor.  I told Tate that I would NOT be taking him to see a movie about the stooges so he has asked Dad to take him.  Shawn likes the stooges.  The preview we saw showed the classic move that is used by the stooges where one of them pokes someone in the eyes with two fingers. Tate doubles up laughing, as most boys his age would.  I guess that is a good thing?  I am aiming for “age appropriate behavior.”